Carol
was very smart and was in the habit of depending on her wits
for survival. My mom was, I am now certain, bipolar and very
nervous and given to fits of meanness and temper tantrums.
Carol and Mother were like oil and water and Carol would
deliberately yank Mom's chain.I
witnessed their fights and decided that the only way that I
would be able to survive would be to rein in my own
personality and to become a mindless robot for mother, to
avoid, as much as possible, to do anything to upset her.
Whatever she asked me to do, I just did
it, whether I felt like it or not. I was an "easy" child to
raise, while on the inside, I was filled with despair and
self-hatred.
Part of the time, family life was almost
normal. But about the time one began to feel comfortable,
Mother would have one of her tantrums/episodes, and all hell
would break loose. One learned to tiptoe around and to
always have one's feelers out for impending disaster.
Nonetheless, Mother bought a horse for me
(with money she earned from her home dressingmaking
business; I never said Mother wasn't talented or
ambitious!); an unbroke two year old unregistered Quarter
Horse filly, Rocket. Mom and Dad sent the filly to a college
student for 30 days of breaking (generic slang term for
"training).
Poor Rocket...it was the stereotypical bad
match of know-nothing noobs with young, green horse! BIG
MISTAKE, always!!!
All I knew about riding was my carefree
experience with Ginger the pony. Rocket was something else
altogether. Now I look back and see that she really must
have been better-natured than we gave her credit for at the
time!
It didn't take long for Rocket to figure
out that if she laid down while I was on her back, that I
would get off and then she could take off running back to
the house.
After her third runaway of that kind, Dad
caught up with her at the house and gave her a spanking on
the butt with a 2 X 4. I know that SOUNDS mean, but the
reality is that while it made lots of noise, it sure didn't
hurt her. She never laid down with me or ran away again.
In the decades since then, I've had horses
lay down with me on them many times. Usually, it is just a
young horse and they are yielding to their natural impulse
to want to roll in the sand. From experience, I recognize
what is going to happen almost before it begins and I can
swat them with the reins, give them a whump! with my legs,
and that is all it takes to change the subject and get back
to work.
Read
more later...
Horses from whom I've learned: INTRODUCTION
